Spider Crap: Vermont Update 2

The spider did not look like this. I just put it here because its looks like it would poo largely.

I can't say how nice it is to be free, unfettered from life's usual demands. I already feel my artistic powers cresting. Lots of good progress was made in the studio today, punctuated by chow time and the necessary work study work for the development office.

This day was perfect—almost.

The only 'off' moments today involved spiders. As I was peeing in the bathroom I saw an itty-bitty spider. I playfully blew on it pretending I was God. How fun! I blew this way and that and enjoyed watching it being confused by the sudden hurricane. But I guess I got carried away and decided to blow it off the ledge. In retrospect I wanted to see it get all spidey on me and break its own fall with its magical silk-throwing powers. Indeed, it broke its fall alright—on a bigger spider's web. The bigger spider wasted no time in mummifying its newfound prey as I watched helplessly. I felt kind of awful about it. I then reasoned (no doubt to heal my conscience) how life is crazy, even for a spider. Crazy things happen to all sorts of living creatures, many of which are simply are at the wrong place at the wrong time. People who live healthily get cancer. Innocent people get shot in wars. And innocent spiders get lifted by sudden gales into the jaws of other spiders. It's life. You can't argue with that. I took this logic to town and celebrated my own innocence with a coffee with a caveat that I will never blow poor insectoids to their own deaths again. Ever.

Later on that night, I was working in my studio. I was drawing on a canvas on my worktable when all of a sudden I saw a brown liquid come plopping down on my art. I looked up and saw no leaking, no pipes, nothing. But then realized where it came from: a big black spider DIRECTLY above the offending brown liquid! Was this revenge on behalf of all spiders? This spider decided to defecate, barf, or I dunno what on MY art. I didn't even know spiders could realize such a healthy flow of poo. Who knew!
Karma, I say. Karma.

Vermont Update

I could not sleep until 3am last night because of my jet lag in tandem with the nasty humid weather. I popped a couple of Advil PMs and that magic mallet knocked me out cold until about noon the next day. I arrived at the beginning of lunch. Having to find a place to sit in the dining area reminded me of the same anxiety I had every time I went to the cafeteria in college. The idea of having to talk to whatever middle-aged stranger whose table I decided to invade weighed heavy on me. But I got through it OK.
I talked to some older lady about painting. She didn't like Philip Guston. I tried to make a convert out of her not knowing what else to say. She remained skeptical. "Too much pink", she said. She liked Lucian Freud. I scrunched my face as if I was a 5 year old being fed brussel sprouts. A stalemate.

Because of the heat, making anything during the day proved to be difficult. I passed out on the floor of my studio for awhile wearing nothing but my boxers. I felt like I was at the bottom of a jacuzzi—and not in a good way.

But when the night fell I was able to start some pieces. Oh, and I got my bag back from Delta. Today was a good day.

TOUCHDOWN IN VERMONT

Well, I arrived in one piece. I'm in Vermont! Never thought I'd come here. From the plane the land looked very green and bucolic. I'm sure there are rivers of Maple Syrup and pancake rafts—all waiting to be explored. Delta has already effed up and lost one of my bags, though. They better get Wavy Gravy or whatever bearded looking fellow to schlep my bag over to Johnson ASAP. All the airport staff look ridiculously more crunchy than their JFK counterparts. They're wearing Tevas and stuff.
More sensory relays when they come...

**Addendum: I left my Apple earbud headphones on the plane. When I went back, they were gone. I then did what any disgruntled recipient of bad luck would do: I shoplifted!
I swiped some Colby headphones from a Discovery Channel retail store when the attendant wasn't looking. The headphones lacked the tasteful design of the Apple earbuds as they has bolt-like thingies sticking out from the sides which made me look like a skinny Jewish Frankenstein, but they worked and I was happy again. But my smart antics went all bad Karma on me when I dropped my laptop from the seat yanking the Colby headphones apart at the plug. Now, I'm without earphones again. Should I steal again in Vermont?

I am

a idiot.

THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING

You want to see something that should—without a doubt in my mind—be eradicated from the Earth? A body ornament so gauche, its very cognization makes my skin one large ant blanket. Ladies and gentlemen (and perverts), I give you THIS.

Errol Morris' Beer Commercials

If you know Errol Morris' films you will know the man is busting at the seams with talent. You will wonder if he is one of the best living film makers working today. You will know that he always brings something to the table.
But there's a side of him that does not get its due: his beer commercials. They are almost subversive, almost parodic; They are smarter than most of the visual swill that punctuates our time watching the boob tube for sure.
Have a looksee HERE.
Also, watch "FlamZ", "Mayo", "Hotdog", and "Balding".

Smashing idear

The recently deceased Fredric J. Baur, the designer of Pringles Potato chip cans, had his cremains put into his cans. Uh, Take note.