Monday, May 26, 2008

10 new option ideas for voicemail

press 1 if you would like to order a sandwich.
press 2 if you would like to hear Dane Cook die slowly
press 3 if you would like to hear a puppy whimper
press 4 if you would like to hear your messages in tongues
press 5 if you would like fruit cake
press 6 if you would like to a hear a Jew joke.
press 7 if you would like to talk to Katrina who wants to make party with you
press 8 if you would like to kill a mosquito
press 9 if you would like to be sent a telegram version of your voice message.
press 10 if you would like to this FUCKING voicemail service to stop being so wordy.

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