Friday, July 25, 2008



This man made national news when he shot—while drunk—his Lawn Boy (lawnmower) when it failed to start. He faces jail time and a whopping $11,000 fine.


It seems a bit harsh to me. For starters, if I were to do some forensic work on this case I would see things differently. Instead of seeing him as an unbathed, piss drunk middle-aged man going postal on his lawmower—without his wife's permission (she was the one to call police), I see him as an unbathed, piss drunk, middle-aged man coming to terms with his mortality and limitations. After all, he was approaching age 60! Frustrated by his life's failings and his unfulfilled dreams he had no recourse but to pull out his trusty shotgun and shoot his malfunctioning Lawn Boy clear to Kingdom Come. If you're having a bad day, nothing feels better than to mow your lawn after vomiting 2 gallons of Jim Beam. Everyone knows that. But the mower would not start, adding insult to an already injured heart. The mower had to be shot. Period. But such catharsis is taboo in the face of law. I just hope they cut The Lawn Boy killer some slack.

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