CENTIPEDE!!!!!!!

Photo by E.Kornienko

Late one night I got home. Looking forward to a tall glass of anything I entered the kitchen, turned on the lights to find a silverfish roaming the counter near the sink.
"Ew", I thought. I promptly flattened it with my dish soap bottle. I then looked to my left and all I could do was widen my eyes and say out loud "EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". It was a large insectoid creature easily three inches long just sitting there dead still. I then took my trusty soap bottle and pummeled it until there was nothing left. I saw a segment still twitching on the counter and watched until it ceased.

It was a centipede and looked about the same as the one above. Unlike past insect murdering sessions, I have had no remorse. I cannot be reasoned with. Something that hideous and scary-looking must die. Simple as that. People made the devil look UGLY for a reason, you know. At the time I wasn't sure what it was but with some internet sleuthing I found that it was a common household centipede. Wait. COMMON household centipede? I've never seen those things in a house. Only in Indiana Jones and my worst nightmares. I also found that, unlike many other scary looking insects that are commonly seen in one's house, like the cockroach, the hairy spider, or the silverfish, it bites! Apparently, it hurts too, like bee sting-style. There's venom involved.
This made me feel even better that I destroyed matter, which is impossible scientifically, when I killed it. Fear produces miracles.

There's one centipede in South America somewhere that grows to be 12 inches long!!! They've found fossils of centipedes that were as large as, get this, 3 FEET long! Thank God Nature downgraded you centipedes. It's the best for everyone. Maybe the dinosaurs died because they were frightened to death of these humongous insects. Astroid shshstroid.