Friday, May 8, 2009



What is up with the month of May? It seems everyone is having a birthday this month. Do people just love to interlock genitals on Labor Day weekend? For all those who are having birthdays, this is not to demean your special day. And it's not to say I don't enjoy the celebrating of you. It's just that I wish your breeder parents would have spaced it out a little.
Spring is a great time for fucking, yet I know few people with birthdays in the winter months (though Facebook might disprove me of this). How about procreation in December? Down a carafe of egg nog and get dirty. That makes you born around August. Every Scorpio I know is a barrel of monkeys. Yet, this overpopulation of birthdays in May seems to undercut my theory that I'm cosmically bound for relationships with Tauruses, simply because there's so many of them. My mother: a Taurus. My brother? He's a Taurus too. Many friends and ex-lovers are also Tauruses. I even DRIVE a Taurus! A wagon no less. So I can carry Taurus babies in it. And wood. Pants is an Aries which is almost like being a Taurus without all the bull. Just kidding. Wordplay!

So much for my stump speech. My generation: when you do sex with your partner and make babies try it out IN May, please. Or January. Because October, the month of my birth, is packed too.

Jungle Hotel——Public Servants

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