Monday, August 3, 2009


One thing I will never understand is spitting, constant and unfettered, on our city streets. What is the point? Is the surfeit of saliva in one's mouth too cumbersome to swallow? Has it been tainted? Must it be ejected?
Perhaps it is an image thing. For instance, the guy who chews on toothpicks or matchsticks has airs of confidence. Do spitters think they put on airs of toughness? They don't. I just looks pointless, like a nervous tic such as fingernail biting. Spitters tend to be repeat offenders. One they start spitting, there seems to be no going back. Spit must be swallowed—period. It does not taste bad or is bad for you. In fact it is a tasty treat to line the throat.
Swallowing spit is an act of recycling. Spitters need more water and thus deplete our delicate natural resources. They must be stopped and forced to wear badges like the Jews did during the War, so we know who they are. We will take their spitoons away and force them to eat dry things all the time to sop up the moisture in their mouths.
Our streets will be clean once and for all. Thanks.

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