Getting the Getty Villa

A weekend or two ago, Pants and I ventured to Malibu to visit the Getty Villa, a modern museum designed to look and feel like a Roman villa during the Pax Romana.
One queer thing is that you have to make 'an appointment' to visit the place, even though the museum is free (except parking), which makes you feel that you've been vaguely 'initiated' into another world.



Everything there was perfect. From the beautiful white buildings which were as accurate as possible in re-creating this lost era to the vast array of artifacts that pervaded every chamber. Like the Getty's sister museum in West Los Angeles, it felt quite white-man like as well. Old money funding old ideas. It's a fusty idea to begin with. The museum's locale added an extra air of authenticity. Malibu suddenly became the Mediterranean and my the ice cream in my hand suddenly became a silver cup filled with wine! Well, not really.

I was also reminded of Hearst Castle, that 'magnificent' castle two hundred miles to the North, which was also funded by a rich white man who wanted the place to feel like a time before Christ and shortly thereafter. But it was interesting, if a little strange.

I just wish those 'eyes' inside the statues followed you as you passed like they do at the Haunted House at Disneyland. As an added bonus, I added a pic of Wilford Brimley because he always spices any blog entry.

News Flash!! Crazy Lady Update

The plot is getting thicker with the "Booger"-cloning nut-job at the Knotty Nautilus newsroom. It turns out that she may be a fugitive on the run, wanted for sexually imprisoning a man in the 70's using a slightly different name.
Click here for the story.

***Thanks to "Mystery" for the hot tip.

Boardrum88 at the La Brea Tar Pits

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Pants and I went to The Boredom's 2nd "Boadrum" performance last night, this time with 88 drummers (77 participated last year in NYC). Dave Janick represented Bard College as one of the chosen 88 drummers, many of whose names I recognized from bands I liked in the days of yore. It was at the La Brea Tarpits, a cool place because you could stroll around there and still see the primordial ooze seep through the well-manicured grass and concrete.
Overall, while the mere spectacle of 88 drummers being led by a man with a trident was interesting enough, I was a little disappointed. Mostly because the rhythm itself wasn't as rich as it could have been. Like a mediocre movie, the show had moments of grace, but lumbered longer it than it should have. In better moments, the unified beat was offset by splashy accents in random areas of the drum circle. I also liked the everyone-solo-ing-at-the-same-time section of the performance. As a drummer myself, I was drooling. But what truly was missing was one basic thing: SYNCOPATION. Why was there hardly any it? The beat was mostly unified, marching, and tribal. This can work too, but the flow was not focused enough. They needed to get all Faust and Tony Conrad on us, or get all crazy. They did neither.

I realize rehearsing 88 drummmers is quite difficult, but c'mon. The opportunity was too golden to let this possibility slide. Couldn't Nike, the sponsor, pay for it. Maybe Adidas could chime in with some cash? I was telling Pants that without syncopation I needed something extra. Something visual or otherwise. Like every drummer dressing like their favorite president. Or the center section, with Yoshimi, blasting off into outer-space like a UFO. Or maybe the thing could be a contest where all the drummers solo at the same time until the last one is standing. The winner would get a pair of Nike shoes and toiletries from the Body Shop®. I dunno. Something.

Bernie Mac

Bernie Mac died yesterday at the age of 50. Of Pneumonia. At 50 years old. I don't get it. Life's screwy that way.
Here's a sort of funny clip from his cameo in House Party 3. In it, there's a nod to his predecessor Robin Harris in the franchise as the foul-mouthed father figure to "Kid". If you don't remember, Harris played Kid's father in the original House Party, and as "Sweet Dick Willy" in Do The Right Thing (1989). He died at the height of his fame in his late thirties in 1990. Harris and Mac were good friends so there's well, a tender connection there.

Booger is Back?!

Old man Maslansky has got his panties in a bunch today over a new page in the annals of twat-dom. A woman named Bernann McKinney had her old pitbull, named "Booger", cloned. She just had to get some more Booger. When I saw the headline for this story I thought they had cloned "Booger" from Revenge of The Nerds (1984) (who incidentally makes a cameo in Southland Tales (2007). I would have enjoyed this more in theory.

What I find most disturbing is that she actually thinks she's getting the old Booger when in reality she's getting a new ersatz Booger. It's simply a Booger re-acculturated to match a memory his Booger mind cannot fathom. The new one is bound to have some illnesses sooner than later. The old one died of cancer. This one will probably get some kind of super-cancer at the age of 1 year. It's like buying a Chinese knockoff, yet it's Korean. Even more mind-blowing is how much Bernann spent to get her new Booger: $50,000. With that kind of money I could buy a fuckin' (used) 'Vette and fill the trunk with a year's supply of Red Bull and feta cheese. How cool would that be?

But a new Booger? Gauche, my friend, gauche.

Falls are like farts. Almost always funny.

Have a nice Sunday!